Some night-time reading

This one is for you Amanda, nothing like having something to read when up with your baby:)

It's been a heavy day. I saw some friends today and it was so fun to see them but one of them is fighting cancer. It's hard to watch her struggle and be in pain and have to fight so hard for basic things that I take for granted every day. I can get up in the morning and walk to the bathroom and my legs don't fail me. I can work and play and dream about my future. It feels unfair, as cancer always is I'm sure. I am not saying that God is unfair, just that I don't understand.

As part of making my life and faith real this time, I am and have been, processing and working on myself until I can get to the point where I can say and believe (that's the big/harder part) that God is good- all the time.
He doesn't feel good all the time, but I know feelings lie and that's a big fat one. Because God IS good. Scripture says so, so I have to believe that. I want to, and I am working my way there. My head believes this, but my heart heeds to emotions at times. Satan finds my emotions unstable and has a hayday. He twists and turns things until I am in the middle of believing the lie that God is only good when it feels like He is good.

Lie Lie Lie.

The truth is:
My marriage is good- God is good.
My marriage struggles- God is good.
The baby died- God is good.
The baby lived- God is good.
I am not fighting cancer- God is good.
She is fighting cancer- God is good.

I know the key is that God is good. His character is good. Circumstances aren't always good. He allows those bad circumstances though and that's where I have to work through all the feelings that come with that.

Today felt that way.